G A M E
by Zavtra
Summary: [A prequel to Mae To Ima] Before Ayumi found the perfect boyfriend, before InuYasha was discovered at all, before her world was turned upside down and then inside-out... Kagome was alone with nothing but her memories, thoughts and a melody to comfort her.


Disclaimer: I do not own "InuYasha", Kagome, Sesshomaru, or anything. I also do not own the song "Game" by Ayumi... Hamasaki.

AN: One-shot time! This piece goes hand in hand with my story, "Mae to Ima." It takes place before the chapter story when she was constantly depressed and looking for InuYasha. Please wait a little longer for the next chapter of MTI. Sorry! It's really hard to write right now for some reason even though I know exactly what I'm going to put in writing (or typing rather)... eventually.

Please enjoy and _review..._

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**G a m e**

The dimmed lights in the house painted the stark white walls cream. The only sounds that could be heard were the wind howling against the windows and the lone female creature shuffling around inside.

She paced around the living room quietly after having had another dream. The same one where InuYasha disappears and Naraku goes into hiding. He wasn't destroyed. Of that much, she was sure.

"Wait... it's not a dream. It's my life."

With a resigned sigh, she threw herself on the plush, white sofa and clicked the T.V on with the remote only to turn it off seconds later. She picked up a magazine and flipped randomly through the pages still fidgeting in her seat. Another two minutes passed before she threw the source of her short entertainment on the glass coffee table in front of her.

She was young and restless and the night was her only comfort. She had the house to herself this evening seeing as how Ayumi went out to meet her newest boyfriend; Kagome hadn't bothered to ask the name of this one. He'd probably be gone within a week or two, way before she got to actually see him.

Tossing her slightly irritated thoughts aside, the raven-haired girl grabbed her long black coat, tossing it over her black tank top and jogging pants, and left the house after sliding on her only pair of black sneakers.

It was mid-autumn, one year, three months, two weeks and a day after the well was sealed.

Kagome was about to unlock the door to her car when she stopped the key from entering the hole with a sudden thought. After another pause while her mind processed, the girl decided to walk.

Turning around, she strolled. Her legs carried her on and on, farther and farther from her home. Her mind was in a different realm or so it seemed, only paying enough attention to the surrounding world to allow her to walk straight and not put herself in direct line of any danger.

Still walking after about two and a half hours in the frigid cold, she looked up at the dark sky and remembered a time when she had once sat with InuYasha watching the stars. She smiled at the thought and continued her pace towards the city.

As she continued to recall all the little things he did and said, a pang abruptly struck somewhere inside of her, near the vicinity of her heart. A certain song came to mind as her thoughts turned sorrowful and she felt his absence stronger than ever. She hummed it in the silent night's air.

_Little by little, the warmth you left behind abandons me_

_If it's gone completely, what will my body mean?_

She smiled sadly and thought of all the times she was content to be near him; to just stand beside him made her happy. No words needed to be shared; no contact physical, by eye or otherwise was necessary. She was just happy that she could see him and breathe the same air that he was.

She never needed or wanted any more from him. She just needed him to be there and exist.

Sighing wistfully, the girl brought to mind every visible image she could conjure of him: his face, his hands, his neck, his hair, his ears, his eyes, his nose, his lips, everything and anything.

She missed him _so_ much.

_Seized with several impulses, I'm lost in a maze with no exit_

_A sudden sense of reality urges me to find the way out_

_But why can't I leave this strange place?_

Her feet still moving, Kagome realized at least another thirty minutes had to have escaped her and she was now just entering the city.

She was slightly annoyed that her mind always slipped into thoughts of InuYasha when it was not occupied.

She had no life. He was her life.

Now that he was gone, she meant nothing.

Her living in this world was pointless.

Why was she still here?

Almost growling in frustration Kagome shook her head and realized once again that she had been in a daydream-like state as it had started to rain and she hadn't even noticed. She barely felt the cold of the drops; the chill in her heart was far worse.

She was tempted to just scream. To just yell her lungs out at the unfairness of the world but she held the desire in, like always. Instead, she looked bleakly at the street in front of her, weakly clenching her jaw as she passed few strangers in the late hour.

_I'll be able to smile again normally about this whole ordeal tomorrow_

_As if nothing had happened_

_I've always walked in such a manner_

_But I can't control this game as I wish_

Kagome watched women pass by in a rush, dressed up and heading... somewhere. She watched men pass leisurely, taking time to give her a thorough glance. She watched couples pass, some laughing, some just holding hands with smiles on their faces.

She envied them, all of them. They had lives, meanings, and things to look forward to. They weren't her.

Smiling ruefully to herself, she tossed her head back and allowed herself a small humorless chuckle. Realizing how pathetic she was, she closed her eyes as her eyebrows raised and she shook slightly for all of two seconds. A small eternity in her existence.

Her life was empty and she had nothing better to do than to think of a man who lived over five centuries ago.

Nevertheless, it didn't matter. Who cared how she spent her "precious" moments of life on this earth?

She'd just have to continue living her life this way. There was no other possibility. It was the only way she knew how to since InuYasha had disappeared.

_The moment I might say something,_

_Everything could slip through my fingers... like sand_

_So, I wait as the time passes by calmly_

As she walked and the rain continued to pour, her eyes caught a flash of amber and silver to her left near a small and dark alleyway.

Without thought, she rushed towards edge of the building the alleyway was partially created from. Turning around the edge of another building she distinctly saw long silver locks fling in the opposing direction as their owner rushed forward to his destination.

She followed still as he turned yet another bend but stopped abruptly when she realized it was a dead end and there was no trace of the man with silver hair.

'Maybe it was... Sesshomaru,' she thought, finding a way to console herself after having lost what might have been her only link to the hanyou she loved. She stared at the wall long and hard before turning around taking the first step that would lead to retracing her steps.

A slightly rough and familiar voice chuckled and spoke out from above, "can't believe I was being followed by such a cutie."

It was him. She was sure. Of that fact, she had no doubts.

She could practically feel the signature smirk he was sure to be wearing.

She turned as quick as her body allowed and was about to utter the first syllable of his name in complete and utter delight but as she looked up, she discovered he was gone.

Once again, gone.

Or maybe he was never there?

She did know herself to hallucinate occasionally. Was this one of those times? Or had she really heard his voice?

Instead of the gleeful tone she was about to use, she used one that reflected the melancholy state that she was in.

"InuYasha..."

Her single utterance had disturbed the magic and she felt the pain in her heart again. The moment was gone... slipped through her fingers like sand.

Knowing that he was really gone troubled her each time she felt even slightly closer to finding him and so she left the alleyway quietly and emotionally injured.

She was always disheartened after she understood she was just dreaming.

_I need no makeshift words_

_I'd probably just forget about them tomorrow_

_I'd made this game a little longer than usual_

_No problem, I'll be able to find another one_

She savored the sound of his voice as it played repeatedly in her mind. His words... she'd never heard him say anything remotely like it which meant it couldn't just be a resurfacing memory.

Maybe he had been really there. Maybe she'd get to see him again. With all of heart, she hoped she would.

She'd do anything to be with him again. Just to be by his side would make her happy. She'd give up anything just to be able to see him daily, like before.

Sadly, she realized she was hanging onto her hopes so desperately it was almost sickening.

The little occurrence that happened just moments before was just another pastime that her mind entertained itself with, gradually weakening her heart.

The dreams, the hallucinations, the constant thoughts and memories were all the doings of her cruel mind torturing very soul.

With a grim smile, Kagome made her way home anticipating the new obstructions that this malicious world would come up with for her.

After all, her life was nothing but a game for the fates that chose her destiny.

_Please tell me that this pain is surely an illusion_

"Because it hurts too much to be real"

_Please tell me that I'm not at all like myself now_

"Because I don't feel like I am"

_Please tell me because otherwise I'll yearn for your warmth again _

"Please tell me, because I don't think I'll be able to forget you..." she spoke.

'I need you, InuYasha. I need you to make this pain go away. I need you to reassure me you're here and your love wasn't just a dream I had,' she thought as tears made their way down her face. The warm salty liquid mixed with the cold drops of rain pouring from the heavens as if the sky was crying with her. 'I need a future, because without you, there's nothing left for me here.'

"Itte kitto itami da nante gensou datte..."

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AN: tear, tear! So depressing. Please review.

_About the song_: yes, this was the translation of the song as written by a person named "masa" on the Divine Ayu website. I kind of changed the words around to sound more fitting or dramatic... they're the same words but the order was switched a little.

_About the last line said by Kagome_: It translates back to "Please tell me this pain is surely an illusion" which was said earlier in the song.

_About "Game" in musical terms_: it's really a pretty song and it reminds me of the opposite or backward version of Ayumi-san's other song "Because of you." Both songs are great and I recommend them to anyone who likes Ayumi Hamasaki.

This one-shot was designed to give people a feel for the way Kagome used to feel before InuYasha started seeing the other Ayu. I don't like to think of it as some random one-shot songfic. It has meaning!

If there are people reading this that haven't read "Mae to Ima": if you want more details about Ayumi and InuYasha's relationship and Kagome's situation, go read MTI. I'm not forcing you, just a suggestion.

TTFN

E.A.Z.P.


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